If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A+ Viking dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
