Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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