I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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