Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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