I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
handjob tips. give me some.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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