My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
