So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He shit in the fireplace
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