dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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