Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
