guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize