I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
