I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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