The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
