Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
