her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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