At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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