he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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