New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
