Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
