I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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