talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
