i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
