with your own penis?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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