Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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