When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
