he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
