God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You've changed since you got that strap on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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