You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
