Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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