You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize