we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
