The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
