Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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