I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
