I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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