this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
