69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize