she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
