im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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