If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
