btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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