im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
