I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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