My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
