I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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