I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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