You work out of a Hotel?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
