I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
