Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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