Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
