i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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