I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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