Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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