Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
