Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
