Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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