So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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