Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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